Weeds of Life

 

I spent part of the day yesterday pulling unruly and unwanted weeds from the grass (or lack there of). There was a section of the lawn that was just screaming for help. The few week old seeds were being choked by the overpowering weeds. As I loosened and pulled the tangled plants from the moist soil, I began to see weeding in a different way.

At first I didn't have hope that the grass seeds were growing, but after doing a little investigating, I found little sprouts hidden under matted dead roots and entangled weeds. Our lives have the opportunity to grow and prosper. We can produce fruit and love, but sometimes there are other things that overpower those forming habits. I think that if we were to spend time doing a little bit of maintenance - while still nursing those baby habits - our lives could be used for a much bigger purpose.

Sometimes when we are cleaning out the old matted roots, and tugging the unruly weeds, we pull up some of the new growth. Just like in life, when we start sorting through the root of old habits, sometimes we fall back into the same old patterns, resulting in us having to start from scratch all over again. But thank God for second chances, right?!

After all the weeds were tossed in the trash, grass seed was tossed on the fertile soil. They all have a chance to cover the bare dirt with fresh, vibrant, and lush grass. It just needs the opportunity and resources to thrive.

And I'm sure, once that patch is beautiful, there will be another area that needs maintenance. It's a never ending process, but if it isn't taken care of and nurtured properly, all of the grass will get choked up by the deceptive weeds. The ugly unwanted plants look green and lush, spreading so nicely about the soil - but the damage it is doing under the surface is deadly. Sin likes to be sneaky, trying hard to blend in. But it's ruining what is left of the healthy, maturing grass - preventing anything from surviving. I think I'm at a place where I need to analyze (or should I say, allow God to show me) what in my life are weeds, and what areas I need to start cultivating so that I can encourage those little seedlings to grow and mature, rather than be swallowed up by the deceiving weeds.

Once those little seeds have pushed up through the soil and reached out for life, they have to be cared for and nurtured. We as humans, Christians, sinners, need support as we continue to grow. It doesn't happen overnight, and we certainly can't do it on our own. Seeds don't just sprout - they need water, food, and light. And sometimes, it takes a few tries to get a successful crop with the right balance of each resource, but you can't get any success without planting it in the first place.

Luke 8

". . . This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God . . ."

Galatians 6:7-8

^7-8Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life. 

 ...

Valley Between Two Hills

I always dislike the feeling of trying to stop myself as I am gaining speed coming down a hill - getting to a point where my legs can't and won't move at the frightening speed I'm traveling! Why is the phrase "It's all down hill from here" used in a positive way? It's simply a faceplant waiting to happen! Just when I feel like I am steadying my stride, there is a change in pace.

The job that I desired finally comes along,
then I am stuck wondering "where to next."

I get started on a role of doing my morning devotion, 

then I don't have the passion anymore.

I finally meet and am surrounded by amazing, fun, and accepting people, 

then I dwell in the lies and insecurities that I thought were long gone.

What's wrong with me?

Is it really that hard to simply be content?

Either I'm trudging up a hill, or I'm falling down on the other side. In both circumstances, I am in need of someone there holding my hand, reassuring me that I'm NEVER alone.

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t be afraid, because I am with you.
Don’t be intimidated; I am your God.
I will strengthen you.
I will help you.
I will support you with my victorious right hand.

Each and every day, I have to choose whether or not I'm going to trust and KNOW that God has a plan, or if I'm going to worry that I don't know what's ahead. Looking from an outsider's perspective it seems like such an easy decision to make, but why in the world do some people (especially myself) get caught up in worrying!?

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything; 

instead, pray about everything. 

Tell God what you need, 

and thank him for all he has done. 

Then you will experience God’s peace, 

which exceeds anything we can understand. 

His peace will guard your hearts and minds 

as you live in Christ Jesus.

A Daily Choice

 .

This week has been full of

discovering, thinking, and conviction

 .

As I sit and write, I can't help but notice the simple blessings I have around me. The "popcorn" trees morphing into lush green foliage, the feeling of the cool breeze as it gently blows through the sheer curtain framing the window, and the sound of the bright red cardinal as they rejoice in the day they have been given.

 

Two weeks ago, I sat in this same place, wondering,

"Why am I here?"

Am I ever going to get a job?"

Did I make a mistake in coming?"

What is my purpose in being here...?"  

What in the world was I thinking moving across the country?"

 

 

But today is different. I know I'm here for a reason. I am confident that God is going to use me in ways that I can't even imagine. I have a choice to respond when God calls me to serve. All too often I look over the opportunities and then wonder why God isn't using me. Maybe he's trying, but I'm just to wrapped up in myself to realize.

 

Throughout the past week, I've been thinking about God's timing. It's been so hard trying to balance the desire for a job, and then being available for those around me who are suffering. As I wait for that one email that could change my future, I wonder if this is the time to take a job. In my head I had a plan of what I thought my job would be like, but God may show me another route that will take me further than I ever thought possible.

 

Joseph Campbell said,

.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,

so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

.

I feel that sometimes we get so caught up in "THE JOB", or "THE MONEY" when we should be having faith that God will provide.

 

It's amazing how often I am reminded that there is a bigger purpose for my life than just "existing". Constantly, I am searching for how I can be used. I get frustrated when a job doesn't go through...but why? As I look back at all the doors that I wanted to walk through, I realize how different my life would be if I had. There is no way I would be where I'm at, waiting to hear back on an amazing job opportunity. Yes, I worry about the reality that this too may not be the job. But I would hate to look back months from now and see how I didn't allow God to work in my life.

 

I don't have the ability to see the whole picture. I'm still learning to trust that God's plan for me is far more intricately designed than I could ever imagine. So now, finally, I can go on throughout my day, trusting, knowing that I will be taken care of- even if it's not the way I imagined, because I have chosen to have faith and commit to HIS way. But I also realize that each morning, I have the choice to live in my own little world, or to trust that God will act.

 

Today I choose to trust that God will open doors in his timing.

 

"Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in him, and he will act."

{Psalm 37:5}

 

Comfortable as a duck in a row

Comfort is something everyone craves.

• comfort food,
• comfortable beds,
• the comfort of a close friend....

Then there's the feeling of being uncomfortable.

• uncomfortable within a situation,
• the feeling of sleeping on the floor, 
• the sound of an empty stomach.... 

So is comfort something that we NEED?

 
Back in Cali, I was comfortable. I had my weekly, daily, and hourly routine managed to a tee. My ducks were in a row, and no one could maneuver them but me. And of course there were baby ducklings added on every once in a while, and soon the little ones grew and matured- and then so did my schedule. Little commitments began to multiply and overwhelm my already packed life. But my ducks couldn't be drowned. I was stuck in the horror of being comfortable.

It's frustrating when we feel like we NEED to be comfortable, and then we don't allow God to move in our lives. We put ourselves in a place to comfort ourselves, rather than having faith to allow the Comforter to comfort us. 

 

When I think of comfort, or lack there of, it reminds me of the Apostle Paul. His life changed when he committed his life to Christ. It wasn't just a subtle change, he was put in prison for preaching about Jesus Christ. He wrote letters while he was in chains. It didn't matter to him if he was comfortable or not. He continued to preach the Gospel. He turned his situation into a blessing for the hurting and the lost. Sometimes we feel that our pain is not fair, we don't understand why horrible things happen to us. To be a light in such a dark situation, it takes a faith in a God that has all the comfort in the world.

 

So if Paul can love and be a light from inside prison walls, why can't I do it on an everyday basis? It took me a move across the country to get out of my comfort zone, what will it take for you to get out of yours and start being an intentional light to those around you?

 

{1 John 2:15-17}

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you,

for when you love the world, you do not have the

love of the Father in you. For the world offers

only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for

everything we see, and pride in our achievements

and possessions. These are not from the Father,

but are from this world. And this world is fading

away, along with everything that people crave. But

anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

 

Get out of your comfort zone,

and allow the Comforter to work within.

 

Shower Phase of Life

This whole week I've been having a little inner fight with myself. It's nothing new, most of the time I can cover it up, push it down deep, and ignore it...and that's where there's been conviction this week. Why do I feel like I need to conceal or hide it? I have a Healer who knows my every thought, and for some reason I still feel like I'm alone in this struggle.

The struggle you ask?

 d

The  fear  of  being........alone

d 

Yes, people constantly tell me, "You will never need to worry about that!" and "Some guy is going to be so blessed to have you!"...the list goes on, but here's the problem- no matter what people say, I can't believe it. I WANT to believe it but I feel like they are just saying it to comfort me, to simply hide the truth that I don't deserve that "special someone".

One simple little thought can put me in a tail spin and knock me flat on the ground. The anxiety, fear, and insecurities that consume me in that whirlwind LOVE to leave me leave me dangling, at the end of my rope, hanging on for (what feels like) dear life.

So how am I going to fix my flawed little perspective? Good question! There is one constant thing I turn to for encouragement, Scripture. It's overwhelming how many verses there are that offer peace - far too many to list. But here are a few that have encouraged me recently:

  

"Be joyful ALWAYS; pray CONTINUALLY;

give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is

God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

{1 Thessalonians 5:16-18}

a

"For I know the plans I have for you,"

declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and

not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

{Jeremiah 29:11}

a

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

{Philippians 4:13}

a

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do, and

He will show you which path to take."

{Proverbs 3:5-6}

a

"I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.

I will advise you and watch over you."

{Psalm 32:8}

I know I'm not alone in this battle because of the numerous articles writing on this topic of being alone. I've realized though, that this time of being alone is valuable.

As a close friend ingeniously put it:

"You’d never want a guy to come over early for a date and you be in the shower. You’re in the shower of your life right now. Take the time to get ready and then God will have a guy knocking on your door when you least expect it."

This is such a true statement! And for some reason I always manage to freak out that I'm not in the same place in life as those around me. This is my weakness, and thank goodness God is walking along side me!

Over the past few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about being in my "shower phase". If I don't set time aside now to ready myself for my date, then I haven't done my part and the date night (my future) isn't all it could be because I didn't take advantage of my time to get ready.

This is my time to become confident in Christ. I want to become healthy spiritually so I can bare fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I want to continue to learn to love like Christ loves. It's definitely going to be a challenge, but I'm ready for it!

As for now, I am not alone! God is constantly teaching me that HE is who I should be focusing on. My relationship with Him is what matters most. I believe that HE IS ALL I NEED, and HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.

This song has appeared several times this past month, and it's just now that I'm realising the significance behind it. It's a reminder that I will never be alone.   

♫ "I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need" ♫

I pray that you discover the peace of knowing that

you are NEVER ALONE!

Love is...

 

z

{. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 .}

z

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

For the past 24 hours, I have been meditating on what "Love is". If God is Love, and we as Christians are called to be "Christlike", then shouldn't these characteristics of love be overwhelmingly present in our lives?

So many times I find myself dwelling on how an individual wronged me, sometimes feeling jealous towards someone, or just not joyful. I'm slowly realizing how much effort I have to put into changing the way I think and live my life. It's not going to happen overnight, and it's definitely not going to be easy.

I have been blessed with several mentors that have encouraged me, prayed with me, and supported me over the past few years. As I look at how they live out their lives, I begin to see a pattern. They know what {LOVE} really means. They have a love that runs so deep withing that it's unhuman like. I desire to live a life like them, having a positive outlook on life, always willing to serve, and being an encouragement to each individual I come in contact with.

They didn't just magically get to that place in their life where they could give up so much of their time and self. They spent time on their knees seeking God's will for their life, allowing others to invest in their life, while also investing in their marriage and their relationship with Christ. They are true Proverbs 31 women. I'm only starting my journey on becoming a Proverbs 31 woman. 
 
Each day, I'm shown just how minuet and un thought out my plans are. I really have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea what's on the horizon, but I have a hope and a trust that only comes from above. Now I need to be the one to take the first step and learn from the one who knows it best.

Just like in the movie, Julie and Julia, Julie learns to cook from the master, Julia Child, the one who knows it all. Shouldn't we be seeking help on how to live a godly life from the Creator? Yes, there are books and mentors who can help along the way...but shouldn't our main guidance be from the one who knows it ALL? I want to learn to love from the God who IS Love, and I want to learn how to be a Proverbs 31 woman from the Creator.

All I can do is seek, pray, and allow HIM to work within

me, preparing me for HIS amazing plan.

Patience of a remote control

"Patience is a virtue" Ugh, I hate that phrase!!!

Or, maybe I hate that I need more of it... 

 

I've always used an analogy for my patience, or should I say lack there of. You know when you start a movie and have the opportunity to select a scene on the menu? Well let me just tell you how amazing my life would be if I had that! I would love to be able to go and take a sneak peak on where I would be in my life in say, 5 years. Wouldn't that be amazing if you could just skip or fast forward through a rough time? Or pause or even rewind when something amazing happens?? (I've had this view long before the movie "Click", I think they stole it from me ;))

 

Now let me clue you in on a few things that never crossed my mind that would require patience. I have no idea where I dreamed up what I thought was a no brainer check off list to complete in less than a month...

1. Buy a car,
2. Find a job
3. Make new friends (my age/stage of life)
4. Get connected in a Community Group
5. Rent an apartment/place to live
6. ........
7. ........

Funny how EVERYTHING on that list is still unchecked... maybe God's showing me that I don't really know what I'm talking about, that I don't really know what's best for me? I guess I still need to learn about that thing called "letting go, and letting God". But then that thing called patience comes back into play. I'm not patient enough to just sit and give up my control. I want things to go my way, after all, I know best, right???

Hmmm...NOPE, definitely not.

 

I went from working 3 jobs, being a youth leader and full time student...then I moved...

BAM!!!!

It's like I'm starting all over again. I have a wonderful and amazing support system here as well as family and friends back in California. Goodness, I had no idea what I was getting myself into, which is probably a good thing or I wouldn't have trusted that God had a plan.

 

Now that I'm here, I wouldn't change a thing! Everything that I've gone through has brought me here. It is very hard being in this place right now, but the cool thing is that I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be, even if it isn't easy. It's encouraging to know that there are people who have walked the same walk. Actually, there are so many people that I know and run into here that moved from California. They all have a similar story, similar feelings, and a similar outlook on life. I just wish that things could speed up and that I could start crossing things of my list already! ...and there it is again! I'm brought back to that thought that "I (still) DON'T have it under control!"  That's where I'm going to stop, and be S.T.I.L.L..............

 

"Be still in the presence of the Lord,

and wait patiently for him to act..."

...{Psalm 37:7}...