"I WILL guide you along the best pathway for YOUR life.
I WILL advise you and watch over you."
I'm slowly starting to realize the importance of family. The support that only they know how to give, the understanding that only they have. I know there is going to be change in my life- when is there not?! I can either choose to accept it, or try and fight it and be miserable. Over the past 6 months, I have been BLESSED with countless opportunities and individuals who have impacted me in tremendous ways . . . I don't even want to think about how differently things would have gone if I didn't step out in faith and move to Nashville.
I wish I could say:
"I know what's coming!"
But that has never been the case for me. I will, once again, step out in faith and await my next adventure on this journey, whatever and wherever that may be. The only thing I know is that "I will follow" as I sing aloud the lyrics of one of my favorite worship songs by Chris Tomlin . . .
I woke unusually early this morning, and this song was so fitting.
I have so many dreams, so many goals, so many passions.
Just thinking about how God can use a sinner like me is simply amazing!
Sometimes I get caught up in what I need to do next, instead of fully allowing God to orchestrate my life. So often, but not nearly enough, I am reminded of just how small my little life is. Unfortunately, it's a regular occurrence where I forget the fact that God doesn't need me-He wants me and wants to use me- but I am in no way entitled to the blessing of being used. So today I go back to the reality that I need to submit, yet again, all of my worries, dreams, and overall life back to Him.
Psalm 119:169-176 (MSG)
169-176 Let my cry come right into your presence, God;
provide me with the insight that comes only from your Word.
Give my request your personal attention,
rescue me on the terms of your promise.
Let praise cascade off my lips;
after all, you've taught me the truth about life!
And let your promises ring from my tongue;
every order you've given is right.
Put your hand out and steady me
since I've chosen to live by your counsel.
I'm homesick, God, for your salvation;
I love it when you show yourself!
Invigorate my soul so I can praise you well,
use your decrees to put iron in my soul.
And should I wander off like a lost sheep—seek me!
I'll recognize the sound of your voice.
I don't really know what I'm writing, but I know that I need to write and process. So I pray that God would give me words to speak, not only for my own desire to process, but to also be an encouragement.
It's the simple things in life that I absolutely love- sitting outside listening to the birds chirp their little hearts out across the tree tops, watching young squirrels chase each other down in the yard without a worry or plan, and the subtle lightening bugs practicing in the dusk ligh for their late night rave. But it's these kind of days where the emotions are raw, the stress is high, and peace is in reach. This is where reality becomes clear that even when you choose to be joyful, it's not always easy.
I keep getting lost in the thoughts, the memories, the stories of the past several months. It's these rocky moments when I am aware of where I came from, knowing that I don't really know where I'm going. I bought a one way ticket here, but what does that mean comes next on this journey. The journey is where I learn, where I stumble and fall, where I cry, where I ask "why?"...but also where I smile, where I roll on the floor in laughter, where I rejoice, where I KNOW that I am going to be all right.
So much is up in the air, but when does God say that everything needs to be resting comfortably on the ground? Who knows what is on the next page of this crazy chapter, but all I can do is read one sentence at a time.
Matthew 6:33-35 (MSG)
"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
