I'm on a journey...

As I sit in the bus and think back to just 5 weeks ago, I can't help but feel overwhelmed at the journey.

So many friendships formed, 

memories embedded, 

laughter taken advantage of, 

learning experiences to the ends and back - 

overall a wonderful adventure...and just 3 shows left on this tour

 I'm on a journey to find myself, each moment passing, each event adding to my experience. If only I could understand the beauty of the community I have around me. Valued relationships are all around, and all I can do is sit and ponder -

"I'm not good enough"

"I don't deserve that gal as my friend"

"I'm not worth"

NO! It's not true, but why do I continue to believe that?

I've set myself up to fail because I've looked to man for acceptance. Over the past few weeks, I have had the most amazing, godly, and truthful individuals speak into my life - calling me out in some areas, and praising and encouraging me in others. It's one thing to hear it from those around me but a completely different story to believe it in my own heart. A song that remains a constant reminder is one that is played each night on the tour. It talks about being worth it, being valuble, and having purpose.

 . . . Someone Worth Dying For . . .

You might be the wife, waiting up at night
You might be the man, struggling to provide
feeling like it's hopeless
Maybe you're the son who chose a broken road
Maybe you're the girl thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God can you hear me?
Oh, God are you listening?

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I want to believe, I want to believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah, I want to believe, Jesus help me believe
That I am someone worth dying for

I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
So you just keep asking, Oh, what everybody's asking

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I want to believe, I want to believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah, I want to believe, Jesus help me believe
That I am someone worth dying for

You're worth it, you can't earn it
Yeah, the cross has proven,
That you're sacred and blameless.
Your life has purpose!
 

You are more than flesh and bone
Can't you see your something beautiful
Yeah, you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see that
You're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known
You gotta believe, you gotta believe
That you are someone worth dying for

You're someone worth dying for
Someone worth dying for

There couldn't be a better time for this song to be forced upon my ears, heart, and mind. It's such a powerful reminder, and I hope that it brings encouragement along with peace that there is so much more to this life than what the world and society suggests.

I wish it were easy to be blessable, confident, secure, but then I wouldn't be stretched, wouldn't be growing, wouldn't be able to become the woman that God desires me to be. My prayer tonight is that I would leave my doubt of deserving grace at the foot of the cross. Simply asking to have a peace that He truly has made me the way I am for a greater purpose than my own understanding.

Ephesians 2:8-10 (GNT)

"For it is by God's grace that you have been saved through faith. It is not the result of your own efforts, but God's gift, so that no one can boast about it. God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do."