Shower Phase of Life

This whole week I've been having a little inner fight with myself. It's nothing new, most of the time I can cover it up, push it down deep, and ignore it...and that's where there's been conviction this week. Why do I feel like I need to conceal or hide it? I have a Healer who knows my every thought, and for some reason I still feel like I'm alone in this struggle.

The struggle you ask?

 d

The  fear  of  being........alone

d 

Yes, people constantly tell me, "You will never need to worry about that!" and "Some guy is going to be so blessed to have you!"...the list goes on, but here's the problem- no matter what people say, I can't believe it. I WANT to believe it but I feel like they are just saying it to comfort me, to simply hide the truth that I don't deserve that "special someone".

One simple little thought can put me in a tail spin and knock me flat on the ground. The anxiety, fear, and insecurities that consume me in that whirlwind LOVE to leave me leave me dangling, at the end of my rope, hanging on for (what feels like) dear life.

So how am I going to fix my flawed little perspective? Good question! There is one constant thing I turn to for encouragement, Scripture. It's overwhelming how many verses there are that offer peace - far too many to list. But here are a few that have encouraged me recently:

  

"Be joyful ALWAYS; pray CONTINUALLY;

give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is

God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

{1 Thessalonians 5:16-18}

a

"For I know the plans I have for you,"

declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and

not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

{Jeremiah 29:11}

a

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

{Philippians 4:13}

a

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do, and

He will show you which path to take."

{Proverbs 3:5-6}

a

"I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.

I will advise you and watch over you."

{Psalm 32:8}

I know I'm not alone in this battle because of the numerous articles writing on this topic of being alone. I've realized though, that this time of being alone is valuable.

As a close friend ingeniously put it:

"You’d never want a guy to come over early for a date and you be in the shower. You’re in the shower of your life right now. Take the time to get ready and then God will have a guy knocking on your door when you least expect it."

This is such a true statement! And for some reason I always manage to freak out that I'm not in the same place in life as those around me. This is my weakness, and thank goodness God is walking along side me!

Over the past few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about being in my "shower phase". If I don't set time aside now to ready myself for my date, then I haven't done my part and the date night (my future) isn't all it could be because I didn't take advantage of my time to get ready.

This is my time to become confident in Christ. I want to become healthy spiritually so I can bare fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I want to continue to learn to love like Christ loves. It's definitely going to be a challenge, but I'm ready for it!

As for now, I am not alone! God is constantly teaching me that HE is who I should be focusing on. My relationship with Him is what matters most. I believe that HE IS ALL I NEED, and HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.

This song has appeared several times this past month, and it's just now that I'm realising the significance behind it. It's a reminder that I will never be alone.   

♫ "I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need" ♫

I pray that you discover the peace of knowing that

you are NEVER ALONE!

Love is...

 

z

{. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 .}

z

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

For the past 24 hours, I have been meditating on what "Love is". If God is Love, and we as Christians are called to be "Christlike", then shouldn't these characteristics of love be overwhelmingly present in our lives?

So many times I find myself dwelling on how an individual wronged me, sometimes feeling jealous towards someone, or just not joyful. I'm slowly realizing how much effort I have to put into changing the way I think and live my life. It's not going to happen overnight, and it's definitely not going to be easy.

I have been blessed with several mentors that have encouraged me, prayed with me, and supported me over the past few years. As I look at how they live out their lives, I begin to see a pattern. They know what {LOVE} really means. They have a love that runs so deep withing that it's unhuman like. I desire to live a life like them, having a positive outlook on life, always willing to serve, and being an encouragement to each individual I come in contact with.

They didn't just magically get to that place in their life where they could give up so much of their time and self. They spent time on their knees seeking God's will for their life, allowing others to invest in their life, while also investing in their marriage and their relationship with Christ. They are true Proverbs 31 women. I'm only starting my journey on becoming a Proverbs 31 woman. 
 
Each day, I'm shown just how minuet and un thought out my plans are. I really have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea what's on the horizon, but I have a hope and a trust that only comes from above. Now I need to be the one to take the first step and learn from the one who knows it best.

Just like in the movie, Julie and Julia, Julie learns to cook from the master, Julia Child, the one who knows it all. Shouldn't we be seeking help on how to live a godly life from the Creator? Yes, there are books and mentors who can help along the way...but shouldn't our main guidance be from the one who knows it ALL? I want to learn to love from the God who IS Love, and I want to learn how to be a Proverbs 31 woman from the Creator.

All I can do is seek, pray, and allow HIM to work within

me, preparing me for HIS amazing plan.