A Daily Choice

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This week has been full of

discovering, thinking, and conviction

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As I sit and write, I can't help but notice the simple blessings I have around me. The "popcorn" trees morphing into lush green foliage, the feeling of the cool breeze as it gently blows through the sheer curtain framing the window, and the sound of the bright red cardinal as they rejoice in the day they have been given.

 

Two weeks ago, I sat in this same place, wondering,

"Why am I here?"

Am I ever going to get a job?"

Did I make a mistake in coming?"

What is my purpose in being here...?"  

What in the world was I thinking moving across the country?"

 

 

But today is different. I know I'm here for a reason. I am confident that God is going to use me in ways that I can't even imagine. I have a choice to respond when God calls me to serve. All too often I look over the opportunities and then wonder why God isn't using me. Maybe he's trying, but I'm just to wrapped up in myself to realize.

 

Throughout the past week, I've been thinking about God's timing. It's been so hard trying to balance the desire for a job, and then being available for those around me who are suffering. As I wait for that one email that could change my future, I wonder if this is the time to take a job. In my head I had a plan of what I thought my job would be like, but God may show me another route that will take me further than I ever thought possible.

 

Joseph Campbell said,

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"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,

so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

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I feel that sometimes we get so caught up in "THE JOB", or "THE MONEY" when we should be having faith that God will provide.

 

It's amazing how often I am reminded that there is a bigger purpose for my life than just "existing". Constantly, I am searching for how I can be used. I get frustrated when a job doesn't go through...but why? As I look back at all the doors that I wanted to walk through, I realize how different my life would be if I had. There is no way I would be where I'm at, waiting to hear back on an amazing job opportunity. Yes, I worry about the reality that this too may not be the job. But I would hate to look back months from now and see how I didn't allow God to work in my life.

 

I don't have the ability to see the whole picture. I'm still learning to trust that God's plan for me is far more intricately designed than I could ever imagine. So now, finally, I can go on throughout my day, trusting, knowing that I will be taken care of- even if it's not the way I imagined, because I have chosen to have faith and commit to HIS way. But I also realize that each morning, I have the choice to live in my own little world, or to trust that God will act.

 

Today I choose to trust that God will open doors in his timing.

 

"Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in him, and he will act."

{Psalm 37:5}

 

Comfortable as a duck in a row

Comfort is something everyone craves.

• comfort food,
• comfortable beds,
• the comfort of a close friend....

Then there's the feeling of being uncomfortable.

• uncomfortable within a situation,
• the feeling of sleeping on the floor, 
• the sound of an empty stomach.... 

So is comfort something that we NEED?

 
Back in Cali, I was comfortable. I had my weekly, daily, and hourly routine managed to a tee. My ducks were in a row, and no one could maneuver them but me. And of course there were baby ducklings added on every once in a while, and soon the little ones grew and matured- and then so did my schedule. Little commitments began to multiply and overwhelm my already packed life. But my ducks couldn't be drowned. I was stuck in the horror of being comfortable.

It's frustrating when we feel like we NEED to be comfortable, and then we don't allow God to move in our lives. We put ourselves in a place to comfort ourselves, rather than having faith to allow the Comforter to comfort us. 

 

When I think of comfort, or lack there of, it reminds me of the Apostle Paul. His life changed when he committed his life to Christ. It wasn't just a subtle change, he was put in prison for preaching about Jesus Christ. He wrote letters while he was in chains. It didn't matter to him if he was comfortable or not. He continued to preach the Gospel. He turned his situation into a blessing for the hurting and the lost. Sometimes we feel that our pain is not fair, we don't understand why horrible things happen to us. To be a light in such a dark situation, it takes a faith in a God that has all the comfort in the world.

 

So if Paul can love and be a light from inside prison walls, why can't I do it on an everyday basis? It took me a move across the country to get out of my comfort zone, what will it take for you to get out of yours and start being an intentional light to those around you?

 

{1 John 2:15-17}

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you,

for when you love the world, you do not have the

love of the Father in you. For the world offers

only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for

everything we see, and pride in our achievements

and possessions. These are not from the Father,

but are from this world. And this world is fading

away, along with everything that people crave. But

anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

 

Get out of your comfort zone,

and allow the Comforter to work within.

 

Shower Phase of Life

This whole week I've been having a little inner fight with myself. It's nothing new, most of the time I can cover it up, push it down deep, and ignore it...and that's where there's been conviction this week. Why do I feel like I need to conceal or hide it? I have a Healer who knows my every thought, and for some reason I still feel like I'm alone in this struggle.

The struggle you ask?

 d

The  fear  of  being........alone

d 

Yes, people constantly tell me, "You will never need to worry about that!" and "Some guy is going to be so blessed to have you!"...the list goes on, but here's the problem- no matter what people say, I can't believe it. I WANT to believe it but I feel like they are just saying it to comfort me, to simply hide the truth that I don't deserve that "special someone".

One simple little thought can put me in a tail spin and knock me flat on the ground. The anxiety, fear, and insecurities that consume me in that whirlwind LOVE to leave me leave me dangling, at the end of my rope, hanging on for (what feels like) dear life.

So how am I going to fix my flawed little perspective? Good question! There is one constant thing I turn to for encouragement, Scripture. It's overwhelming how many verses there are that offer peace - far too many to list. But here are a few that have encouraged me recently:

  

"Be joyful ALWAYS; pray CONTINUALLY;

give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is

God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

{1 Thessalonians 5:16-18}

a

"For I know the plans I have for you,"

declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and

not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

{Jeremiah 29:11}

a

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

{Philippians 4:13}

a

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do, and

He will show you which path to take."

{Proverbs 3:5-6}

a

"I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.

I will advise you and watch over you."

{Psalm 32:8}

I know I'm not alone in this battle because of the numerous articles writing on this topic of being alone. I've realized though, that this time of being alone is valuable.

As a close friend ingeniously put it:

"You’d never want a guy to come over early for a date and you be in the shower. You’re in the shower of your life right now. Take the time to get ready and then God will have a guy knocking on your door when you least expect it."

This is such a true statement! And for some reason I always manage to freak out that I'm not in the same place in life as those around me. This is my weakness, and thank goodness God is walking along side me!

Over the past few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about being in my "shower phase". If I don't set time aside now to ready myself for my date, then I haven't done my part and the date night (my future) isn't all it could be because I didn't take advantage of my time to get ready.

This is my time to become confident in Christ. I want to become healthy spiritually so I can bare fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I want to continue to learn to love like Christ loves. It's definitely going to be a challenge, but I'm ready for it!

As for now, I am not alone! God is constantly teaching me that HE is who I should be focusing on. My relationship with Him is what matters most. I believe that HE IS ALL I NEED, and HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.

This song has appeared several times this past month, and it's just now that I'm realising the significance behind it. It's a reminder that I will never be alone.   

♫ "I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus You're all I need" ♫

I pray that you discover the peace of knowing that

you are NEVER ALONE!